This blog post is going to be a long one, just to warn you. I have been craving to blog seen as I have been so deprived due to certain reasons. You may now throw your confetti in the air, stand on your table and dad dance, do crazy stunts like Chuck Norris, and throw a party in my honour because you know you love my long posts and there will be plenty of them now that I have time on my hands! Plus, I now blog from my phone so when I have something interesting i want to type up, I can just whip out my phone and give you something to indulge over.

I woke up (properly) to the smell of freshly poured coffee, and rattling in the kitchen.. I wondered whether Daniel was making a proper breakfast but I couldn't put an answer to it; what was happening. What was that noise?

Suddenly, Daniel came in to the bedroom with a cheeky little 'sorry' grin explaining that he had gotten his crumpet stuck in the toaster (we are so English) and decided to stick a knife in but blew the electric... smooth going Daniel.. luckily he managed to put the electric back on again but now there was some horrible beeping going on outside the front door.

Perfect. Now I had ringing in my ears. 

The only good thing about having the ringing in my ears was that it was blocking the sound of the beeping outside the door, but only for the little while.

Strolling out of the bedroom, I decided to get myself a cup of tea (OK, I am a true English gal) seen as Daniel didn't make me one.. the ass... only joking, I love him really! There's nothing like having a brew in the morning, unless you hate tea/coffee, then you're just weird.

Daniel had decided that he would watch Harry Potter on his laptop LOUDLY - Harry Potter is not my kind of film anymore. You know what I mean when I say that when you watch a film over and over again you get sick of it. But then you happen to, unfortunately, be sat next to someone wants to watch it, and you just want to catch the first bus to the train station, to catch the train down south somewhere, and then run to the edge of the coast to a cliff, jump off backwards, all the while, doing a few back flips and taking in the view, before plummeting to your horrific death? Yeah, you know what I mean.

It's like a song.. the more you play it, the more you hate it, and the more crappy it sounds. If you haven't heard a song for a few years, it then becomes good again. Well, it's like that with me and films; if I watch it over and over again, I will hate it, but if I don't watch it for years, I will like it again. 

OMG! What is happening??! Checked my statistics on my blog and I saw my pageviews getting higher and higher. I am now on about 300 pageviews a day which is really unexpected! Thank you readers. 

So anyway, the beeping has now stopped thank god. I think today is just going to be 'one of those days' where you sit around doing nothing, praying that something good will pop up and you go out for the day.

I don't really pray. I am an Atheist. Which means, that I don't believe there is a man in the sky that created the Earth, the animals, and everything in between. No offence. Optimistically, i do believe in other stuff, just not God, or Jesus, i believe in After Life and re-incarnation. 

Can we really choose whether we want to either re-incarnate in to a chosen animal or come back as a human, or whether we want to walk the Earth as a Ghost, OR if we want to go to 'Heaven?' Yes, I know, religious people believe Heaven is a place where God is and it is where all the good people go when they die. But no, to me, heaven is a place where the soul from humans go to live forever; no God, just passed away people enjoying eternity in a place where there is no violence, inhumane acts, or disagreements - everyone is happy and safe.

I am not against religions, to be honest, I am happy people have their own beliefs and stick to them where they are passed down generations and they are happy being who they are. Honestly, it fascinates me. It's the extremists that I absolutely cant stand. They twist what is said in their 'Bible' (the quote marks are because there are many types of bibles in a religion e.g the Qu'ran) so they will do inhumane things. I could go on forever arguing my point about extremists and how, perhaps, they should all be shot... whoops have I said too much? Shame.. anyway, they shouldn't exist. 

I think I have said my point. Moving on...

Though it is getting warmer in Britain, I really do feel like I should be in another country right now, lying on a beach in my skimpy bikini, drinking strong cocktails, feeling the heat of the blazing sun hitting my English skin, whilst tanning my little white ass. I am so pale it's scary; I would fit in with the dead. I am jealous of those who live in a hot country and get summer almost all year round; how lucky are they though! 

Here, in the sad, dull, drizzly, wet England, it is very rare to have a long hot summer - we get a week or two of a heat wave at most. It's depressing. The sun is supposed to give you Vitamin D, but here, it's like The Walking Dead. You don't often see a happy person being themselves, wearing a cute little summer dress, or shorts and T-shirt if you're a lad. You basically see (some) moody, trampy, unenthusiastic morons that roam the streets wishing they were somewhere else - somewhere lively.

I don't even think England has seasons anymore (hypothetically speaking) the only way you can tell is if there are pink flowers, green leaves, autumn leaves, or no leaves at all on the trees. England is a wet country. The temperature rarely goes over 25 degrees (maybe less) and you rarely see the sun. It's cold and damp. Someone please whisk me off to a beautiful, cultural, hot, sunny place! I will owe you big time?

Hearing Daniel commentate his mock theory test is hilarious. Though he is actually trying to learn, he also makes it fun to listen to. For example:

Q: there is a learner driver that stalls at a junction. What should you do?

To which there are four answers, the correct answer is basically 'wait patiently.' 

Because Daniel can relate to this question as he is in fact a learner driver, he decided to go on a rant. 

"I hate that, people these days don't even have the patience to wait even a 0.00001th of a second."

"I even hate old men drivers - like that driver that kept beeping me."

"I got beeped when the light only just turned green."

"I hate this, I hate that." 

"What a n*b."

There was a lot more, but because it was too funny that I forgot most of it. 

Daniel even commentates the TV, which is quite annoying but i have learnt to blank it out. Blanking it out is good for one reason - to not hear Daniel commentate, but there is also the bad - when he asks you a question you can't hear it so you can't answer, therefore, you have pissed him off. I am still currently learning how to control the blanking so i can wonder off into my own little world when he is commentating, but instantly come back to Earth when he is in fact talking to me. Win win.

*CLICK* I hope that was the mouse trap going off with one of the ugly little rodants trapped inside. Lately, Daniel has walked into the front room to hear something scuttle under our fridge (yes, the fridge is in the front room.) so he called me in to see what it is whilst he scared it out. It was a hugggeee mouse! The next day Daniel decided to buy four mouse traps and spread them out near the hole in the wall and place one next to the fridge; obviously putting them out of our toe's reach. 

Imagine one of those bastards setting off on your little toe.. OUCH! 

Well anyway, Daniel and I went to check on the mouse traps, and NOTHING. Not even a hair. We don't know what caused the click, but as soon as we sat down, it happened again. WTF.

Anyway, all I can here now on Daniel's laptop is *click* *click* *beep* *horn* *smack* *smack* *smack* *beep* *ting* and that, my friends, is the sound of a shitty game on the internet for football fans called "Ultras."

It is the most appalling, transparent, pathetic game ever. You literally walk around beating people, cars and buildings up to earn money and get to a higher level. The higher the level, the more stocky you are...

I bet you lads are thinking:

"Oh wow sounds like a sick game, I wanna start playing."

"What the website called?"

"I wanna hit people virtually."

How about you get a life? It is a shocking game, but if it keeps the Fiance happy, then I'm all for it. But the volume needs to be MUTE! I don't want to hear *click* *click* *beep* *horn* *smack* *smack* *smack* *beep* *ting* every bloody 2 minutes. It is driving me crazy! 

There are plenty of random virtual games out there that are seriously pointless, but we don't judge. If you like a certain game, go ahead and play it. It's like Social Media - there are plenty off apps and websites for all sorts of Media, some are good for other, some of them suck, but one way or another, there will always be one or more person on that certain Media.

I don't know what I would do without the internet or Social Media.. well i will probably:
1. go on a rampage
2. cry and rock a corner until i die
3. try and rob someone's laptop and internet 
4. turn crazy
5. drive others crazy
6. have a mental break down

"Someone call the Asylum, we have a live crazy one over here!!"

I'm exaggerating of course, but I probably will go crazy without my internet and my source to communicate with the rest of the world. I also can't stalk (yes, i said stalk) without the internet. Boooooo!

WOW.Seriously long post for you guys and gals. 

See you later!

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  1. How dare u call me weird cos I don't like tea or coffee, cheeky!! Lol x

  2. Oh god mum as if you called yourself 'laurens mummy' 😯 haha x


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