Inside the mind of my partner

So it was a typical afternoon where Daniel and I job hunted and ate, but we decided to take a stroll outside because the weather was beautiful. I am actually shocked - the weather in Manchester, England was warm and sunny. We were only outside for around 10 minutes before we started sweating and it was only 21 degrees outside *according to my phone,* which is warm for us English. 

If any of you foreigners that are currently in 35 degrees and above heat and you came over here, you would probably have to wear scarves, coats and gloves haha! England is not meant for hot weather so most people take it too seriously and you see some horrible sights walking around the streets.

Okay picture a chubby girl wearing a crop top and shorts. Now imagine her flabby huge belly hanging over her shorts and bouncing as she walks. OK thinking of that belly, now imagine the shorts being sucked into her ass hole whilst her ass cheeks wobble side to side as she walks. Yummy sight.. don't you agree? *Almost throws up picturing it.*

Now picture a white man walking round topless with knee length shorts and trainers on. Now imagine a skinny boney guy with a "6 pack" (doesn't count if you're skinny), cringe worthy tattoos, a gold fake chain, and walking around with a limp acting like they are black. (No offense, it's just a saying.) Welcome to Manchester.

Anyhow, once we had came back home I went into maid mode and decided to make Daniel dinner, clean his plate and then make him a drink, you know, because I am nice like that. Left Daniel to wash to pots though haha! 

Once everything was done, we decided to sit down and do the usual watch TV/play on the PlayStation, when Daniel began a confusing but funny conversation.

The conversation went like this:

D: "Tickle my leg."

* I start tickling, but apparently I was tickling to hard*

D: "No through the hairs like your fingers tips are gliding"

* I was about to knock him out*

D: "Glide gently like butterfly wee"

*One more and I will kill you... wait... what?*

D: "Do butterflies wee?"

Me: "Probably yeah." *why is he asking me this??*

D: "Do butterflies spunk?"

Me: "WTF why are you asking that, you freak!"

D: "Do flies spunk?"

Me: "Dunno, I haven't asked"

D: "Do bees spunk?"

Me: "I have no idea, probably."

D: "Do camels spunk?"

Me: "I don't really want to find out! But I know they spit."

*Daniel starts singing to himself*

It was so random and irrelevant. There are strange strange things that happen inside Daniel's head, but I am too scared to even think about what goes in his mind. I wouldn't like to take a field trip inside his head, I will probably have a mental breakdown and end up being put in an Asylum. The mystery continues.

Daniel and I have so many small conversations that consist of a few weird and wonderful questions and then we stop talking for a while waiting for the next conversation to come along.

All the conversations on this post are what we have had today:
This is one of the simplest conversations we have had:

D: "Lauren. Bloody hell."

Me: "What?"

*Daniel shrugs his shoulders*

D: "24 hours is a week from home."

Me: "WTF" *laughs*

Here's another one.

D: "Lauren.. I grewed a bum"

Me: "You grewed a bum?"

D: "Yeah, a yummy bummy."

*laughs hard.*

D: "Lauren.. I grewed a toe... did. Promises."

Me: "Er, yeah..?"

D: "I've got a sweaty bum"

*takes my sock off*

D: "Ewww you've got fluff on your toes"

Me: *Duh, I'm wearing a fluffy sock*

And another

D: "your toes are all dismantled"

*I laugh*

D: "What you laughing at?"

*No answer*

D: "Fanny rash.. what you laughing at"

*still no answer*

D: "Your toes smell of cheese."

*Tumble weed blows along the room*

D: "Oi fanny rash, they stink"

Me: Uh hu  

*Daniel starts whistling to himself* 

(No my feet really didn't smell) 

That's enough for now. 

I'm not even sure where I should start when it comes to explaining why Daniel asks so many random questions, or even does the things he does i.e randomly take my sock off, talk in random accents, and sing the craziest and made up things. His mind is so mysterious and it fascinates me. I wonder what it would be like to have the mind of Daniel for a day - could I last a day? Would I go insane?! 

Just so you know, all the conversations that are above were happening as I was typing this post. Every word is legit. God help me, what have I gotten myself into. I love him really!

What is inside the mind of your partner?


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