Hold onto your hats

Do you know what I have realised?

I don't give a mo'fucking goose is you don't like me. Wow. That was good to say! That's a crumb off my shoulder. Now time for the other shoulder.

If you don't like what I have to say, go read someone else's blog. If you love me then I love you and you have permission to keep reading. Fuck it, if haters hate but still read my blog anyway, hurrah! Keep reading bitches... what's male for bitches? Bitchette.. no that's female... Bitchoid? Oooo I like that, it's so futuristic.

Male's if you are Bitchoids, you are awesome, but I hate you. FABULOUS

I hate myself for being such a bitch. I love myself really, I am so self absorbed, can't you tell from my Instagram pictures? Go ahead, follow me. But hey, I love being a bitch so bitch off, bitch.

Haha why so serious? Smile! 

Freedom of speech and all that jazz. I love jazz, smooth jazz, the blues brothers an all that. Hand me that saxophone and I will grind up on that shit and make love to it. I don't really, they suck. 80's classic rock for the win!

Speaking of Blue. Guess what song ALWAYS comes into my head when I hear the word blue? This of course: I'm blue da ba dee da ba dii, da ba de da ba di, da ba di da ba di. I'M BLUE. I love this song, it is so nostalgic. 

Is blue good? I like baby blue, baby blue is majestic and cool. Blue in football is code for BOO YOU SUCK. Ugh City, yuck, yak, hurl, fuck you blues. RED ALL THE WAY.

I don't like football. Except FCUM! The world cup almost got me slitting my wrists, sitting in a bath and drowning myself to the sounds of whales. I'm kidding calm down, I only nearly hung myself.

Crazy thoughts, crazy thoughts. Haha going insane in this post! THOUGHTS THOUGHTS... food? Ohh food? Ah I could do with a bru right now. Tea FOUR please. 

Yes that's right, four sugars, I have a mo'fucking sweet tooth. Deal with it. I have no enamel on my teeth too so i'm fucked. Holey teeth here I come! Don't be gross, I have good teeth/mouth hygiene. I was given medicine that removed my enamel forever when I was born to help me stay a live.

Staying a live, staying a live, a, a, a, a, Staying a liiiiii-iiii-iiiiive. 

So yeah, I am alive with no enamel on my teeth so it is extra hard to not have to get fillings EVERYTIME I go to the dentist. I am pretty sure that the dentist purposely makes holes in my teeth with that spiky shiny thing - he must be bored and pick me to be a victim every single time.

This is like a hate-fest post right? You hate it? GOOD.

Another thing I hate is when people throw the R word around wayy to much that it is losing it's meaning. What is the R word you ask? Well it is Racist. Yep, Racist.

This word has been thrown at me many of times for no reason at all. I have been called R for saying "what is their bible thing called?" How is that Racist? Another reason I have been called R is because I support our country in stopping illegal immigrants from getting into the country and claiming OUR benefits straight away.

I mean c'mon, we work our arses off to pay bills and taxes and these bitches and bitchoids come into the country, get a house, free education, and free health care when they don't deserve it. If they have lived in the UK for over 5 years and actually worked for a living, then I would be happy for them and their NEXT generation to claim benefits. Work for it stupid. 

Plus, you shouldn't get free health care and free education. You only traveled over here for our FREE stuff so fuck off back to your own country you scrounging bastards. Even if you have lived here for 5 years, you should still pay some money towards health care and education because us British have worked our whole lives to pay for that shit.

Not "shit" I love our lively hoods, but illegal immigrants stamping on our parade with their high hopes is just making us all mad and want to create a mob towards you all.

It's not Racist to support your own country and support our right to our OWN money, living accommodation, education and health care.

Ugh this subject can now stop. I am not R. Call me R and I will call you much worse. 

I am a bitch. Don't test me.

Wow I am in such a bitch mood today. I feel sorry for Daniel for when he comes home from work. He loves me sooo much forevs n everyfink innit so its reet fam... can you believe idiots talk like this in Manchester. It's stupid, you went to school, speak English you goons.

What else do I hate?

Oh yeah people like THIS: http://instagram.com/p/qUbnRRM4DR/?modal=true  . How stupid can you get?

Finally, I hate that Social Media crap thing called Pinterest. What is with that shit? I have a fridge, you have a fridge, print out and pin that shit on the fridge. Maybe your alphabet magnets will finally come in handy so you can stop rearranging them into words like "I Love You" or "Milk" when you are bored.

I swear too much, I have deleted many of many swear words in this post so if you think there still is a lot, then my bad.

I think my bitchiness is rubbing off on my puppy too. She is a right bitch. I hate her. I love her. Fuck it - she is AMAZEBALLS. A-maaaaze-ballllllsss. She bites though, like me, we are like the Louis Suarez's of Manchester. That's right, I will bite your arm and your shoulder if you cross me. I dare you to cross me. (Humour, I don't bite.) 

Believe it or not I have never done a post like this before. Why? Well because I thought it would be too weird. I now realise that weird is good. Good weird, not weird weird. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Maybe I should start a vlog instead of writing down my bitch thoughts, I can proudly shout them to the world and have you watch my amazingness. How about that? Vote yes or no to vlog. GO!

Gotta run, my dogs just shit on the floor.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Every comment is much appreciated and I am grateful that you had taken the time to leave your thoughts. Comments with questions and NEED to replied to will be replied to within 24hrs. Thank you.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
✿ Facebook // 87
❀ Instagram // 450
✿ Twitter // 3493


2017 Copyright of ❀ Lauren O'Hara (c) ✿
All Rights Reserved!
Custom Branding & Design By
Krystal Marie Design Studio