Why I need a kick up the backside

Why am I so unhealthy. I am not fat, not at all, I just feel like crap everyday. My insides feel like they have committed suicide and are just flopping around like a dead arm - like this.

All I eat is junk, canned and packets of food - I need to start having fruit, veg and meat to keep me going. I feel so glum and gross like I have been living off chocolate and haribos for a day. Do you know the feeling where at Christmas you have eaten so much, but because it is there, you just want more chocolate and because you have eaten more than you can handle, you feel so full that you're about to give birth to a food baby? That is how I feel everyday from eating what I shove down my throat.

Drinks are worse. I constantly just have fizzy drinks and cups of tea; some NHS site says too much caffeine prevents you from getting pregnant. Right now that is great for me! I can't use any contraception because I am one of those "rare" girls that rejects the hormones, which is pretty dumb to be honest. It is so unfair, I have to be extra extra careful. More caffeine for me! 

Honestly, my whole diet is preventing me from getting pregnant I guess. I can't have canned food, peas, caffeine, sugary drinks, certain types of fish, and alcohol. I don't drink so that's like, what, 16.6% more chance of getting pregnant? My diet is my contraceptive. 

Pass me that burger please.

If I changed my diet and drank more water, ate more healthy food and exercised more I would feel so much more lighter, less full, healthier, energetic, bouncy etc, but I also have a higher chance of conceiving.

Knowing all this, I wondered, is it better to stick to the bad diet I have now and feel glum but also have less chance of getting pregnant, or should I have a healthier diet and up my chances of having an unwanted pregnancy? Decisions decisions. What do you recommend?

What is so ironic right now, is that a pregnicare advert just came on TV... coincidence? 

Anyways... though I feel so eat-your-heart-out plump, I think I should take into account that I need to change my diet for my health. I used a thesaurus to see what other words I could use instead of fat (I didn't want to come off as patronising) and one of the substitute words was hefty. WTF I haven't heard this word in years.. but I must admit, I used to say hefty all the time and I am quite embarrassed about it. Was I crazy? Fucking loon.

Here are some other substitute words that I found funny (in a none horrible way):
"Elephantine"   Wtf is this?
"Jelly belly"
"Whalelike"      Bit harsh!

Or the most over used excuse for being fat:
"Big boned."
Big boned my arse haha! 

Here are some substitute words that I found funny for 'thin people':
"Angular"               Thin people look like this :   L    ?
"Like a rail"

There are some strange subs out there.. why can't we just be genuine and just say fat or skinny/thin? What is up with us? Are we scared of the truth? Some of us need the truth for things that need to be changed. I know I am a flabby size 6 and need to change my diet and lifestyle choices, and I know that larger people need to change their diet also to be healthier inside and out. 

To be honest, everyone needs to change their diet and be more healthy so we can live longer. We can't live off junk food and drinks, and we can't live off water and air - we all need to compromise a healthy diet so we can live as long as we can.

There are obvious challenges to face when we try and be as healthy as we can, but it would be worth it in the long run. Sprinting to overcome the challenge will never work and going at a snail pace will just be pointless, we all need a kick up the backside. Next time I see that beautiful, fluffy, sugary blueberry muffin winking and calling my name through the glass holder, I will have to hold up an imaginary middle finger and tell that muffin where to go. 

Be strong Lauren, be strong.

Here is something that I read on the guardian website that made me realise that I would be extremely unhealthy at 24 if I stayed this weight:

"The analysis looked at the BMI (body mass index) of nearly a million people who had been weighed and measured in 57 separate studies, mostly in Europe and North America. On the BMI scale, calculated by dividing an individual's weight in kilograms by the square of their height in metres, more than 25 is considered overweight and more than 30 obese.People in the study - funded by the Medical Research Council, the British Heart Foundation and Cancer Research UK - were followed for up to 20 years, during which time 100,000 died."
"The best BMI to have, the researchers found, is about 24 - the group with the lowest mortality rate. For somebody 5ft 7in (170cm) high, that would equate to a weight of about 70kg, or 11 stone.People who were moderately obese, with a BMI of 30 to 35, which is now common, died three years earlier than they would have done at a normal weight. Severe obesity, with a BMI between 40 and 50, cut the lifespan by 10 years. That is as life-shortening as smoking - but severe obesity is still rare, affecting about 2% of the population."

Last time I checked my BMI was last year and it was 17 - I was borderline underweight. Let me just go online to the NHS site and check my current BMI.....

My current BMI is for someone who is 5 foot 4 inches (162.56cm) and weighs 7 stone 6 pounds (47kg) is:

It is WORSE than borderline underweight it is almost in the Red area... fuck... changing my diet would be extra good for me. I can't believe my BMI has only gone up by 0.7 in a year.... great.

After reading the article, feeling so glum everyday, and checking my BMI, I have come to the conclusion that changing my diet is what's best for me.

I definitely need a kick up the backside.

Much love,

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