Is it time to take on the hurdle?



Restlessly, I search for material to blog about and scribble down any ideas I chance upon, but honestly, I ignore those jottings and I am not sure why. Was it the fact that I am in denial that I need to write down ideas, or is the fact I need to feel that I don't need to jot anything down as I am inventive enough to create my own posts out of spontaneous thoughts at the time?

Blogging is mentally harder than I originally anticipated at the beginning of my blogging days, it's so cliché how people
think bloggers are just Diary writers who type so freely about their days. It's not that at all. As I sit quietly in a satisfactory room so silent I can hear myself breath to the rhythm of my heartbeat, I feel like ideas rush through my mind more freely like someone lubricated my brain waves. When Alexander goes to sleep so late at night, I will still be up and taking advantage of the silence. I will write my blog posts so quickly that I find it hard to believe that I created such pieces in such a short amount of time; am I really such a quick writer; am I really that creative? Who knows?

Though sometimes I do have writer's block, I do eventually become so inspired that I just HAVE to take the laptop from Alexander or open my Blogger App via Android and type away. Once a thought or an idea is my mind, there is not a catting hell chance I will remember what I was going to type half an hour later, my memory is so bad and I am not ashamed to admit that. Even when I am in the middle of a conversation with someone and I am just talking away like I know what I am on about, my mind will slip and I will go blank; I won't remember what we were conversing over - conversation over.

However, no matter what you are struggling to overcome whether it's with your blog, your Vlog, your essay that is so cruelly due in on Monday morning; whether it is an illness or just a bug; whether you are petrified to talk to an any-sized crowd, person, or scared to forget what you are talking about in the middle of a conversation; or whether it's just simply over coming a fear such as learning to ride a bike/drive a car, rock climbing, bungee jumping, or holding a spider you so doubtfully want to squish or throw, just think about how accomplished and proud you will feel once you have conquered that struggle.

Being a writer rather than a speaker has always been an issue and/or struggle, yet a gift in a strange sort of way - writing is what has come so naturally to me; I crave the feeling of opening the laptop, running my finger tips across the keyboard, and then typing to my heart's content. As I sip from my large ice-cold glass of Tropical juice that I have recently become so obsessed over, I reflect on how I promised myself I will start a Vlog on my Youtube channel as well as keeping up with my blog, but I never kept that promise so far. Why? There are things I can say and show that I can't via blog, but something is stopping me. Is it the fact my peanut brain draws a blank from things so easily, or is it the fact that I feel like no one would be so engrossed in what little old Lauren has to voice or what she presents during her day?

Why is it so impossible for me to get the courage to finally invest in a Vlogging Camera and start doing what I have been so inspired, yet intrigued, to do? Though I initially thought I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of showing my readers who I really am and what I really do, and how interesting I actually am as a person, I realised that everyone is interesting in their own unique and unorthodox kind of way. To be honest, I would say I am outgoing, scarily spontaneous, occasionally funny.. actually, I consider myself hilarious; if you can't laugh at your own jokes, who will? I have emotions; I have feelings; I have crazy thoughts; I am an extremely friendly person and I can bond quicker than I really like too. Human, I am human. 

Versatile is the all round word I would describe myself. I crave change; I crave difference; I crave the chance to live a different yet unique way no matter what or how I do it. Change is scary; change is good; change could be the answer to all of your problems.

Maybe it is time I stopped being such a drag and finally invest in my emotional, yet scary spontaneous mind, and go out and do what I want to do in life. Maybe it is time I Vlog; time I begin a new journey, time to admit that change is good and that change could be the answer to my prayers. Possibly doing this could make my brain so swollen with ideas that I need to type so creatively on my Blog instantly, you know? 

It is crazy how terrifying life is, but maybe we all have to take the chance and leap across the river we are so intimidated to slip and drown in. We are all drowning in our sorrows as it is, so what is there to lose? Take the leap - take that chance. How can anyone make a difference if no one ever chances the leap? Time is scarily quick, who knows how long any of us have left to pollute the Earth with our creative inventions and antics.


It is time I take on the hurdle. 





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Much love,


4 comments:

  1. Id say go for it try vlogging and see how it goes :) I've wanted to vlog for nearly 2 years now but my life is incredibly boring ! I haven't uploaded a video to youtube for 6 months or more but I do plan on doing more videos this year. I agree blogging is mentally harder than I had ever imagined it takes so much time and effort but I do love it. Glad I found your blog from the #lbloggers chat :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Laura. And thank you for sending me an invite to your blog too!!

      I hope you do get back into vlogging <3

      Delete
  2. I've never vlogged purely because I don't have the balls to if I'm being totally honest. I have watched YouTubers for at least 6/7years and I so regret not starting out earlier. Go for it, you might absolutely love it! :)

    Elle
    www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know exactly how you feel! It's only recently I have properly getting into vlogs and watching them. I'ma take your word for it :0 xx

      Delete

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