Red and [Not-So-]Hot Buffet, Rochdale

Long over due post.

It's not everyday you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet but when you do go you want it to be a great experience where you turn up and be greeted by the friendliest of faces; seated in comfortable chairs surrounded by happy and cheery customers enjoying their stay; served food that make your tastebuds dance and tingle - but this was not the case in this all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant. Why? Let me tell you.

Alexander and I decided that because my friend cancelled her Birthday meal plans with me and a group of her friends, that he would take me out for a meal instead. Cute, right? He had heard about this all-you-can-eat buffet in his local town centre and heard good reviews from his friends who have been there regularly in the past, so he thought we could give it a try. Honestly, I wanted to go to Cenetta, which is an Italian restaurant that had opened recently.

Sadly, the Italian restaurant wasn't open and as it was Good Friday, also, we didn't have time to book a table - typical. Alexander and I both always do this - we spontaneously decide to do something rather taking a stepback and actually planning at the start of the week like a normal couple. This way we would have guaranteed a table and a proper meal that we didn't have to chance from reviews and feedback. 

We were stuck with the Buffet (Red and Hot Buffet.) Alexander quickly searched online at the reviews and saw positive comments about the food, on the other hand, comments on the manager were not so good. Not being the hasty type, we knew we could handle a manager and went anyway. If the food was good, the manager was just a minor step back.

Summer Lace Dress
Oui Jumper - George, Asda
Red Maddie Suedette skinny barely there heels - 

Around 9pm both Alexander and I jumped into a taxi to the Buffet, thankfully, the restaurant looked decent from the outside decor, but once we stepped in, it was quite a bland interior. Thus, the wallpaper and artwork were pretty admirable and I examined it throughout the night. If you can see in the picture (below) it seems to look like there are stone carvings of Samurais and horse and carriages; I was truly fascinated. I have always loved Samurais! This restaurant was decorated with a mixture of Japanese and Chinese.

There was even a plaque on the wall in Chinese but was not an English translation underneath. Alexander none-offensively said: "I bet it says all white people eat shit." Joking of course! We knew it would never say this - but where is the proof? 

How cute is the dragon Wine-holder?

One thing we always know for sure when it comes to restaurants, is the stuck-up managers. Managers are normally a pain in the arse; some snobby; some annoying; some stupid. However, the manager we had was a half Chinese half English woman who spoke fluent English and Cantonese/Mandarin (sorry if I spelt any of them wrong) and ended up being two-faced and arrogant towards her customers.

You could tell she wanted to give up, go home, and leave her employees to all the work. She even strolled over to the hot food, helped herself with her HANDS and ate out of them like a homeless person. It was disgusting - you just shouldn't. Sick to the stomach, I felt like I couldn't eat from the area she just helped herself from - who knows where her grubby hands had been and when the last time she washed her hands were. *Shivers*

Likewise, Alexander could tell the manager was putting on a 'pleasant' act when she would come over and act overly polite (asking if we want more, more, more because it's all about money, money, money to her) so of course Alexander pretended back. Honestly, the food was not even good; so tasteless. The food wasn't even cooked right, on the other hand, the pizza was not so bad. 


I love Chinese food but this place, nope, couldn't even enjoy it! Even the Sushi was horrible - how can you get Sushi wrong?!

Half way through our meal, we saw a couple of what seemed to be common food critics who go to restaurants on a daily basis and get free meals one way or another. One of the customers 'found' metal in his dessert and constantly shouted over an employee before he finally got up and went to find the manager himself. 1) That proves the staff are poor and are not around when you need them 2) the guy was consistent instead of waiting - what was the urgency? 3) how is there metal in a bowl of ice cream? 

Finally, after the customer went to fetch the manager himself, the manager and one of her employees came over. Suspiciously, the manager was acting overly friendly yet again and acting like she had no idea what the guy was saying. She was also laughing and joking whilst he was trying to tell her where he found the metal and how long he had been waiting for.

Furthermore, there were plates piled up on his table of half-touched food, which was a horrible waste of food. They should have been charged for the amount wasted; this also made Alexander suspicious that the customers were acting like they found metal in the food. I thought they looked pretty professional at this, even the way they were bullshitting their way through the lie. There is no proof that it was or was not a lie - we could just tell. 

Alexander blurred the photo of the bar and the decor

After the predicament, I sent Alexander up to get me some Thai tasters as I had never had Thai food before. Big mistake. He came back with a plate full of dotted tasters around the plate of a little bit of everything served in the Thai section - he put it down in front of me; I wouldn't even touch it.

Whilst the plate was in front of me, I could smell a disgusting stench - something like waste - it was the food. I tried a bit of the meat to see if it was just one of the sauces from one of the testers, but it was everything; I felt like throwing up. Even Alexander tried a bit and felt the same.

I went straight for the dessert table instead. Stupidly, I forgot to take a photo of the desserts - you can't go wrong with desserts. Dessert tables full of cakes and ice cream were lightened up by LED Lights to make it seem more irresistible. Being quite full already, I just went for the finger food and a bowl of ice cream; the only criticism I could give was that you would get a bowl with only one tiny scoop of ice cream. It was literally a mouth full of ice cream. 

Thankfully, I was almost full so it really didn't faze me that the dessert was served in such little portion. Alexander, however, was disappointed - he could eat for England. 

Artwork on the ceiling.

Alexander went up for more food to try even though I refused to eat any more of that hot food. He came back with a plate full of Chinese food and ate about half of it as there was too much inedible food; there were noodles so soggy; other noodles that you almost break a tooth trying to bite; rice too hard to chew; meat too chewy and spicy; I could go on. This place was on it's arse. 

Leaving the rest, he went for dessert instead. Once we both finished our drinks, we walked over to the bar to pay the bill. £40. Fourty-effing-pounds - for what?! Two rounds of drinks and two adult buffets. WHAT. After paying, the stuck-up manager instantly asked how everything was and started to promote her restaurant before we could even answer her question. She was going on and on about karaoke bars and parties and blah blah blah - not interested. We told her we had an OK time, then we turned to each other as we walked off and agreed to never go back again. 

At least she asked how our time was rather than grunting and nudging us to leave.

My Verdict: never going to that place ever again. Worst tasting food I have ever encountered and the staff didn't do their jobs - it was too simple not to do, a monkey could do it! The food was not cooked right; both of us suffered with food poisoning and stomach aches; would not recommend that place to anyone. At least we tried it before we mocked it.

Alexander's Verdict: "smelt like a manky washing up bowl." 

To celebrate surviving that horrible experience, both Alexander and I were true Englishmen and went straight to the bars and clubs. What a better way to end the night than getting wasted? Plus, the bars and clubs were literally around the corner so instead of going home, we went there instead.

Night sorted.

Much love,

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