Pregnancy Diary | August - September

Sorry it has been such a long time my beautiful readers, but for the last few months, I have been feeling like utter crap. Mothers tell me that pregnancy is such a magical time, and I now believe they are LIARS; I have never felt worse! 

As promised, I am doing a Diary of my pregnancy, and here are the first two months (as from the 4th week). Enjoy the good, the bad, and THE SCARE. Oh yes, things didn't go smoothly. Please, keep all bad comments to yourself. Your support is amazing, thank you to everyone who has given me courage and support via Twitter.



25th August 
If I added up right from my last period day, I should be 4 weeks and 1 day Pregnant! I couldn't be happier right now as you know Alexander and I had been trying for a baby for 10 months; so much stress, worry, anxiety, and disappointment has now been over-run by excitement and happiness. Today, I took the test with my Mum because I didn't want to do it alone - Alex was at work. As soon as the test came up positive I rang Alexander whilst crying - cry baby - and told him the news and he started crying with happiness. 

More on the day I found out and how I felt is on my THERE ARE BUNS IN THE OVENS post.

Later this evening, Alexander came down to mine and he slept with a huge smile on his face whilst clutching the pregnancy test in his hand; it had the cap on so it wasn't as gross haha, as well as laying his other hand on my belly. Right now, the embryo is only 1mm (size of a poppy seed) but no matter how small it is, it takes most of my energy! I don't mind though, the embryo can take up as much energy it wants so it grows big and healthy.


30th August
One thing I never expected to happen so quickly, I woke up with all kinds of emotions; one minute I would cry; one minute I would be angry; the other, I would be happy. This morning, like every morning so far, Alexander gave my belly a little kiss and whispered a little message. How cute is he? Even though the embryo is just a dot and cannot hear or anything, Alexander still feels so connected to it.

2mm from crown to rump. I didn't expect it to grow so quickly; it's amazing what happens in such a small amount of time! Even though it was quicker than anyone really recommends, I told my boss and kitchen friends at work about my pregnancy; my close friend is my boss. Stupidly, all the kitchen staff were shouting at me for no reason, well to wind me up actually, when I mentioned I was emotional. Reminder: never mention your emotions to a kitchen full of guys. They pushed my buttons and now they definitely know not to anymore.

Later tonight, I went back to Alexander's house to find he had cooked me a little meal, poured me a cup of tea, and helped me relax - cutie. He wants to keep my stress levels down as much as possible, and because I told him that I was emotional at work, he wanted to cheer me up. 


1st September
Reminiscing this morning. Let me just talk to the baby for a second:
Mummy and Daddy tried for you for a loooong 10 months, so when that big fat positive showed up on the test, we were over-excited and surprised that we had finally gotten pregnant. Honestly, I thought it would never happen! You're the best thing that has ever happened to us and we are doing everything we can to save up as much money to get you everything you deserve - only the best for our little sprog.

Saying that, Alexander has gotten himself a new job working for his rich friend, seriously, you should see this guy's house - MAHOOSIVE. Alex can work for as long as he needs, as many hours as he wants, and he won't let anyone down. Just in time he has gotten work after being unemployed for a while; it was really hard but we managed to pull through which made us stronger.


3rd September
Writing this Diary online is for you, my readers, so you can experience my pregnancy process with me; I want you to be apart of my life like you have been a part of it since the beginning. Writing in a book is for the baby that I can hand to him/her when he/she is Sixteen or Eighteen (whichever I feel is more appropriate). Hopefully, writing the book and handing it to my child at the appropriate age, will show every single emotion, feeling, and view during my pregnancy, and I am not going to stop when the baby is born either. The books will carry on for a good few years after so I can remember all the milestones, cute silly happenings, and achievements. 

Who wouldn't want to read stories of their childhood and be able to laugh at yourself? I wish my Mum had done the same thing.

Today I am on my 6th week of pregnancy and I have been feeling more sick. My immune system isn't so strong so I easily catch colds and the flu; I currently have the damn flu. Maybe I will get the flu jab, but I have been hearing that sometimes not getting the jab is better for you; what are your thoughts on the flu jab? Yay or Nay?

Last night, I slept for a stupid 18hrs; woke up feeling horrible, too! Headache, stuffy nose, and a cough. Alexander is trying his best to try and help me feel better by making his 'famous' pasta bake, however, I couldn't eat much as it tasted bland; his cups of tea are bang on though, obviously not better than mine ;) 


8th September
CRAZY. Feeling tiny little bubbles and twinges apparently means the embryo is moving, maybe it's just gas? I don't know, I prefer the idea of the baby moving and growing better than needing a fart haha. Emotions were running high today but I was mostly happy. Only 6 - 8 more weeks before I get to see my baby on the big screen whilst hearing the little heartbeat pumping away! Me and Alexander announced our pregnancy yesterday, and honestly, I never knew I had that many people active on Facebook. Congratulations and Well Wishes were said to us with many saying they can't wait to meet the baby; neither can we! 

Though it may look like we have everything we could ever need or want, we still struggle with money problems; rocky days are normal to us now, but we are still trying our hardest to be able to give our baby everything he/she deserves; struggling isn't going to get us down or make us give up. Everything we do is for the baby, so even if I cry, which I have done today, we are still going to try our best. On a positive note, Alex starts his first day at his new job tomorrow; it'll be a rock few weeks but then we will be back on track.


11th September - THE SCARE
Baby, what are you doing in there? I woke up with horrendous stomach pains where I couldn't even tell where the pain was coming from; it was EVERYWHERE. I couldn't stand, lay on my back, sides or front, or even squat. After about an hour the pain subsided and I managed to go to work, but when I got there, I went to the bathroom and saw (TMI) brown, really dark brown discharge which shouldn't happen (light brown or pink is normal.)

Later tonight, I went home to Alexander and we both agreed to go to the hospital to get checked out. As normal, and not that importantly, we argued of how to get there - not important. All I wanted was emotional support and arguing just made me want to go alone anyway. Finally, we got to the local hospital but had to wait 20 minutes to be seen by someone; the wait in hospitals are absolutely crazy and long. 

I thought I wouldn't have to wait so long in the labour ward but I waited FOUR F-KING HOURS! Alexander left after half an hour because he had to walk two hours home, sleep, and then go to work in the early hours. Of course I minded but we also needed money and I guess I handled it well on my own. After my examination, the Gynaecologist internally examined me and pressed on my belly which caused pain - there should be no pain. Because there was pain, I was told it could be because the pregnancy is EPTOPIC.

WHAT?! 

I had to stay overnight for observation and put on a drip to keep me hydrated. Last, I was told that because I was supposedly having a scan in the morning, that I couldn't eat or drink - starved. Great. 


12 September - THE SCARE part 2
Probably only had about two hours sleep due to the nurses wheeling breakfast bars into the ward, other nurses talking and examining patients, and others doing rounds. A few hours after watching everybody eat and drink cups of tea, I just wanted to go home and stuff my face, but I knew it would be worth it when I finally get to see how my baby is and if it is growing in the womb and not my tubes. 

Finally it was my turn to be examined, so again, I was internally examined whilst the Gynaecologist pressed on my belly - no pain - then she told me that because the Brown discharge has stopped and the pain subsided, that I could go home instead of waiting in the hospital until Monday morning for the scan. Though going home was great, I still had the scare of where my baby is growing; womb or tubes. My blood tests came back fine, but the nurse couldn't conclude whether the baby is in my womb or not. I love my baby so much already that I just want everything to be Okay!


13th September - THE SCARE part 3
Brown Discharge came back this morning, but I didn't think anything of it; just a hiccup? There is dull pain in my lower abdomine and back but I heard that it is a good sign that my uterus is growing; after the scare I am having, I am not taking any chances. I left everything for a few hours to see what would happen before I ring the number the nurse gave me for any changes that occur. 

Around 5:30pm I passed a penny-sized blood clot which worried me so much! I rang the nurse thinking I was at the start of a miscarriage, but she assured me that as it was only tiny, that everything is okay. I am not going to take her word and just want tomorrow to hurry up so I can see my baby on the screen and find out if everything is ok. 


14th September - THE SCARE final part
Had my scan today and:
EVERYTHING IS PERFECT!!!
Alexander and I are so unbelievably happy and sooo relieved even though Alex says he knew everything was fine anyway. Men, pfft. Apparently, the growing process is one to two weeks behind but should catch up in no time, but seen as there is a strong heartbeat and the results came back fine, everything should be perfect from now on with no complications. Obviously, I am not going to get my hopes sky high just in case, likewise, I am still over the moon and can't wait to experience my pregnancy knowing my baby is healthy.




Not every post will be a Diary entry, there will be the usual motivational and inspirational posts too. SOON there will be a review for Dylon Dye too but i've just got to wait for my little sister to do it because I feel she would have fun being creative on white clothes! 

Sorry again for taking so long to post, but you understand, right?



Much love,



6 comments:

  1. This is amazing, welcoming a new life!It's tedious yet noble. Maybe you could try recording a video too!Loved reading this. :)

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    Replies
    1. I will be videoing the scan I am having on the 30th Oct which will be on my youtube channel :) Thank you for commenting Riley x

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  2. Oh my word that's scary stuff! But I'm so glad that everything is fine! And yes there's no sleep to be had on a labour ward - between the nurses talking, women in pain and very loud porters it's impossible! Be warned the post natal ward is no better - that's the nurses talking, loud porters and screaming babies bit!

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    1. It was a horrible experience! Thank you <3
      Oh jeez, I was hoping it wasn't as bad. Hopefully i get to go home the same day next time! Thank you for commenting x

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  3. I think the handwritten diary for your baby is a lovely idea! The scare bits were terrifying to read, I'm glad to hear everything seems to be ok though! xx

    Kimberley // thecolourchronicles.wordpress.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you I thought so too :) It was a horrible experience but i'm glad everything is fine! thank you for commenting hun xx

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