Blogmas #2 | Things they don't tell you about pregnancy


1. Wearing lace underwear when you are prone to 'leak' is your worst nightmare.

2. Doing "doggy style" during sex makes you feel and look like this:
source
3. Your boobs will look mouthwatering to your partner, but he might as well wrap barbed wire around your nipples.

4. The feel of sexiness goes out the window and you constantly feel like a bag of spuds.

5. You have to warn your partner that you have a bad stomach, so you will either keep running to the bathroom with the shits or you will gas him out with your toxic farts. Either way, he doesn't win.

6. Lying outside naked in the 10°c hurricane weather seems like heaven when you are 'glowing' brighter the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

7. Chewbacca ain't got nothing on you when it comes to stomach hair.

8. Put salad, mustard, ketchup, onions, gherkins and bread on top of your areola and you have yourself a Big Mac.

9. That sometimes when your partner is the mood for some fun, you're just lay there thinking about the double cheeseburger and large fries you had for breakfast. Sorry pal.

10. You will pee for England; all day, all night until you see the midwife and have to give a urine sample  * insert cricket noise*




Much love,

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