The Raw Reality of The NICU by a Real NICU Mum

When you're in labour, you don't think about where your baby may end up. You think the world is one amazing happy place and your baby is going to be placed in your arms all pink and breathing, knowing that in just under 24 hours you will be taking your baby home with you... but what happens when that dream is crushed and your baby is pale white, not breathing, and sent to the NICU Ward?

Where have I been?

August 14th was my last post; shit, sorry! It's been quite a hectic few months especially since Rhea-Jane has been ill for a few weeks with a viral throat infection and she passed it on to me. Plenty to talk about, but honestly, my excuse is that I didn't have the laptop charger and my Blogger Mobile App is a pile of dog shit. 

Being A Blogging Outsider

At the beginning of my blog years, I blogged because I wanted an online diary; I didn't even know a community on twitter existed back in 2013. To be honest, that was the best year for my blog. In my first year, I gained two blogging friends from Malaysia and started an email pen pal sort of thing where every day I spoke to them and learnt about their cultures. Sure, I could of Googled Malaysia and seen what their culture is like, but for two girls that lives there emailing me about it, it felt more educating and personal.

10 Types Of Mums I Hate in Mum Groups

Every new mum-to-be searches for groups that support one another and give guidance throughout your pregnancy; we crave reassurance that we are doing things 'perfectly' and 'how it should be done.' First time mums look for answers from mums of more than one child because they think they are 'more experienced' and 'know better than everyone else.' Mums-to-be add themselves to groups in hopes that they can talk to other mums without being judged or insulted.

Let's talk PPD (PND)

Of course having a baby is all kinds of wonderful. Your newborns little coos, to gassy smiles, to shitty nappies, but what happens when you can't enjoy all these little things because your hormones are imbalanced and you've developed Post-Partum Depression (PPD)? 

Rhea-Jane's Recovery Story

Day 1
As my heart beat out of my chest whilst I felt the numbness of labour pain in my lower stomach and legs, I couldn't hold my excitement to hold my little girl in my arms again. She was so pale white and tiny when I first held her that I just wanted to hold her close to my heart and tell her I will care and love her for the rest of our lives. 

My Birthing Story

WARNING: My birthing story could be a trigger. It was not a smooth labour, nor was it a nice one - it was traumatic. If you are sensitive, keep a box of kleenex at hand. This post is going to also be long so make sure you are comfortable with a cup of caffeine and a few hobnobs.

As giggles surround the new black glittered walls of my small flat whilst the droplets of water pitter-patter against my misty windows, I hear her laughing at the angels that visit her in her dreams. Beautiful long eyelashes outline her big blue eyes that take my breath away, her little hands closed into tight fists, and her feet entwined comfortably in her favourite giraffe printed baby pink blanket. Peering over to her tiny, fragile body, I can't help but think about how lucky I am to have such a gorgeous little girl in my life that I carried in my womb for a day less than eight months.

Do you justify yourself often?

Do you know what is quite sad? Feeling like you have to justify yourself to the world especially when you have nothing to apologise for. Lately, I have seen plenty of people online via Twitter and Facebook explaining their situations and why they are going to leave social media for good because they don't want to "upset others" and would rather make everyone else "happy."

Pregnancy Diary | January

6th January

23 weeks exactly today!
It's around 2am and I am sat up eating... not feeling any guilt because it is salad and pickled onions. Healthy midnight snack? *wink* I'm not sure if Rhea-Jane likes it or not, but she is kicking me whilst I eat it.

Every so often now I hear a big popping sound in my stomach which I did worry about, luckily, it's perfectly normal. A lot of my family members over-react and one was saying that my waters are breaking (haha!) - no - there are eight logical reasons, one, yes, being waters breaking, but they could be baby hiccuping, baby kicking a bubble and popping it, baby smacking his/her own lips etc. stuff like that. See - logical. It doesn't hurt, it's just like a gas bubble when you have held in a fart. 

Is it controlling?

First thing before I start my actual post subject: I've never really been bothered about my very first posts back in 2013, but seen as I want my blog to look so much more better, or say, professional, I am going on a Spring Clean and reverting my old posts into drafts. After drafting a good 113 posts, I guess I could say I feel a whole lot better. To be honest, the first 100 posts were short little entries that weren't even interesting; they all had less than 50 views with no comments. 

A lot can happen in a year | My 2015

This year has been one of the worst and best years of my life. The start of the year, from what I remember, was pretty dull. Alexander and I were only five months into our relationship. My blog posts were pretty lame but I managed to get a few good posts in there - See Archives - random yet funny is what I would call it. 

Pregnancy Diary | December

Yes, I have needed to update this Diary during December, but honestly, I failed Blogmas and decided to wait and redesign my blog before I start writing posts again. I know some of you do in fact like reading my Pregnancy Diary's, therefore, I am going to copy and paste the dates in December that I have already done, plus add the new ones (obvs!) to this post. 


Blog Relaunch

As you all know very well, if you have been following me on Twitter, I had decided late December to redesign my whole blog template. Though, being as thick as I am with coding, and only knowing the obvious tweaks, my best option was to get someone [qualified] to create a whole new template for me.

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