Is it controlling?

First thing before I start my actual post subject: I've never really been bothered about my very first posts back in 2013, but seen as I want my blog to look so much more better, or say, professional, I am going on a Spring Clean and reverting my old posts into drafts. After drafting a good 113 posts, I guess I could say I feel a whole lot better. To be honest, the first 100 posts were short little entries that weren't even interesting; they all had less than 50 views with no comments. 

After the 113, my writing started to improve and I was writing read-worthy posts. Reverting to draft rather than deleting them completely helps me get over the fact I have just wiped my first cute little posts from my blog. No one really bothers to read them, plus I used photos that weren't mine, even if I used the term "got these images from Google." It's still copyright, Lauren. 

Which comes to the next thing. I have learnt so much in my two years and 3 (and a bit) months of blogging, especially when it comes to copyright laws. Though some posts did contain copyright material, I have removed the photos and edited the posts so it looks like there were no photos in the beginning. Luckily, I haven't been sent emails from people whom own those photos asking me to remove them, I have just done it out of common sense.

If you spot any photos that I have missed that isn't mine in my old posts, please do just comment so I can see it and sort out the problem. Don't be snotty about it, just point it out and it will simply be removed with no hassle! 


Okay now to my actual post:

Is it Controlling?

Today, like every day, I speak to women on Social Media Groups, one of which is a Pregnancy Support Group for women of all ages all due within the same three month period. Now, one of the topics was nothing to do with babies or pregnancy, but rather asking permission from your husband about whether they should change a certain feature of their own body e.g. hair, clothes etc.

The thread started when a woman asked: "Do you care what your husband thinks of your hair? I want a pixie cut but I know my husband will hate it *sad emoticon*"

How would you answer this question? There were plenty of divided opinions to this question, and as usual with hormonal women, we were blunt and straight to our beliefs. Me being one of them and also commenting on the thread (you will see this soon.)

Here are some of the comments to this thread. I am not using names and keeping the pregnancy group quiet for privacy protection reasons.



Yes I wont do anything I know he wont like . So i know your delemma. He loves my hair straight long and black I think if I chopped it all off he would literally cry tears


I already cut it off short this summer...it's just at that long shaggy stage and I was too chicken to go full pixie then so I just did a half pixie. He said he likes it but he prefers it long. He is happy that I've been growing it out *frown emoticon* but I miss my 5 min or less morning hairstyle.


I do care what my husband thinks. He cares what I think. Honestly, we don't pick out body care items, shampoo/conditioner or anything without each other because we like to make sure we both even just like how it smells. I try to keep my hair how he likes it and he does the same for me.


My husband hates short hair so I grew it out for almost a year. I got it trimmed 2 weeks ago but it's still pretty long



Divided opinions are always great in debates, especially for blog posts. Again, I am not using names and keeping the pregnancy group quiet for privacy protection reasons. Also, the women don't know I am a blogger and I write about how I feel on certain subjects.

I wear weaves and to change my hairstyle often, but when my husband and I first started 16 years ago he told me that he hated for a woman to wear weaves. I told him "oh well. I do what I want with my hair so maybe I am not the one for you" 16 years and countless of styles later he has learned to mind his own business


I was in a relationship where he didn't like my hair or my piercings..I took out my septum piercing for him and I regret it. Do what you want, and he'll love you regardless. At least he should.


If it makes u comfortable and you like it he will understand


I say 100% go for it! Everyone in my family is extremely opinionated. I have had my hair every color and every length imaginable! He won't know if he likes it until you do it anyways! My husband begged me not to cut my long hair, but it's my hair and it's so thick it's not funny so I did it anyways... And he loves it!


Ive been every colour of the rainbow and every length. Even shaved half of my hair off sideways. I don't ask opinions because honestly, my opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to my hair haha

^This one is my comment on the thread



Which side of the debate are you with?

As I was always judged by how I am dressed and looked in a past relationship, I clicked on that my opinion on how I look is the only one that truly matters; if I am happy, comfortable and feeling a little self-absorbed, then I know I have chosen the right look for me.

Honestly, I was sad reading the comments of women on the opposite side of the debate telling us how they ask their men how they should look and also having to go simple shampoo/conditioner shopping together as they both have to agree on the same product or pick out their partner's smell. I'm sorry, but male and female have different strength in products and people's natural scent will mix with the perfumed product, hence why there are male and female sections - unless they share? It is still so weird to me.

Alexander and I never go shopping together for health products especially to choose for each other; we have our own tastes and our own health & hygiene routines. I don't tell Alexander how to dress, what to wear or how his hair and stubble should look, so I wouldn't be impressed if he ever did tell me how to dress, what to wear or what I should and shouldn't do to my hair.

As you well know, and as I commented on the thread, I have been every single colour under the sun and every length, whether it was my real hair, extensions, or wigs. I believe that if I am happy with how I look then there is no need for someone else's judgemental opinion or a need to have to ask your partner if you can change something about your looks. 

So what if someone says they don't like it. Is it their hair? No! If you are happy then that's all that matters. Don't get me wrong, I will ask Alexander how I look in certain things, because well, who wants to look like they have a cow's arse in a dress? He is blunt and honest, and if I want his opinion I will ask. However, when it comes to my looks with my hair, make-up and outfits, I will never ASK to wear what I have picked out or ask if I could change my hair, and I don't give two shits what people think of me.

Please, Sir, may I cut my hair? Please, Sir, can I dye my hair this colour? F*ck Off. 

Everyone has their own style. And if you feel you have to ASK your partner if you can do something with your body, then i'm sorry but it is rather controlling.


What is your perspective on this subject? I would love to hear divided opinions!






Much love,



3 comments:

  1. Whilst I don't ask him for permission to do my hair I do ask him his opinion. I think I would find it controlling if he said I wasn't allowed to colour my hair though! x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think it might not be an outright attempt by her partner to 'control' her but we don't really know the dynamic of their relationship so we're just speculating. My own experience of this is that if you really love someone, even if their style changes, you don't stop finding them attractive and it tends to grow on you because of your feelings for them.

    When my partner started growing his beard out, I didn't like it as such because it looked a bit scraggly and weird but I grew to love it as a part of him and now I can't imagine him without it!


    Jenna
    -x-
    | princessparasox.wordpress.com | bloglovin' |

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is an interesting one.

    I totally agree that it's your hair and that your opinion is the one that matters the most. However, I personally always ask my other half what he would think if I made certain changes etc. Normally he's pretty cool and laid back about it, he says "its only hair."

    I do want him to like the way I look (obvs) but I think if I wanted something really badly and he didn't like it I would still go ahead with it anyway as it would bug me otherwise.

    Interesting post, it's given me a lot to think about x

    www.kirstytalks.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

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